Night of Woe

First of all, I am irritated because I just wrote a post, but it disappeared. "No worries," I thought. "Auto-save will have grabbed it," but it didn't. Okay, here's take 2:

Tonight is a sad night for me. I am failing Nanowrimo. For those of you who know me, that's probably not surprising, and I am a terrible procrastinator. I have been trying to come to grips with my failure, but it's very hard for me to. You see, writing the book by the deadline wasn't just about that to me. I had tied success with the goal to competency for being able to attempt other goals. Failure at it means I still don't know if I can do the others. I hope I can get away from that thought or I will doom myself, I think.

I told myself that if I wasn't to at least 30,000 words by the end of this weekend I would give up. Otherwise I am afraid I would spend all of next week tired and cranky. If I had made it to 30,000 words I would have tried to spit out 20,000 more by the end of the week. However, family wanted to visit and my apartment needed to be cleaned, so I didn't make it.

Many of you have given me words of encouragement. Thank you! You were all great! I'm sorry I didn't make it. I'm still planning on finishing, but it won't be by the deadline. I think I've come too far to not finish, so I'm trying to make a new goal. How about the end of the year? Complete it by the end of '08 and start '09 ready to move on to something else? I hope you all are getting done the things you want to. I'm trying to console myself by being glad that unless I forget to post, I should make NaBloPoMo. That's something (although not nearly as hard) right?