No Me Gusta

I totally need to go to sleep, but I wanted to write about something first. I emailed my boss earlier tonight to express how uncomfortable I feel about something I'm being asked to do at work. Do you ever feel like you're in an ethical/moral spot that you don't want to be in? It's probably not as big of a deal as I'm making it (I'm good at making things way more than they need to be), but I hate feeling guilty about things, and I'm pretty good at agonizing over things that I don't think are right. Meanwhile, I'm probably really annoying my boss - and perhaps another colleague or two. What he will reply and what I will do in the end remain to be seen, but it should be resolved one way or the other pretty soon - which would be great because I've been waking up in a panic over the situation some mornings recently.

Fish

I ate tilapia today, and I actually liked it okay - isn't that amazing?! It still creeped me out a little to eat it, but I didn't mind the flavor. And the only thing I put on it before baking it was some dill weed. Maybe I'll be able to handle eating it sometimes. Wow.

Reunions

Maybe I will get a picture or two from the weekend up here soon, but I'm tired tonight and not up to going to the effort of getting my camera and uploading stuff. Yesterday Lu and her husband hosted a little reunion for several people they knew when they used to live here. We met up at a park in a different city that was more central for those coming. It was kind of warm out, but it was so good to visit with people who I haven't seen for awhile. There was great food, and an abundance of it. There were also a lot of cute babies to watch, since most of the folks there are in that part of their lives.

Also, it was my brother's birthday this weekend. He and his family drove down from another state for the weekend, and so all of my family met up at my sister's house (where Brother and his family were staying). So there was also a little, impromptu family reunion. It was nice seeing everybody and watching the nieces and nephews. About the only downside to the weekend was trying to sleep at a house with a bunch of babies - it's a little harder to catch your z's when there are little ones around.

New Beginnings

I think I've already been talking about it, but today was my first day attending my new family congregation. I've been not looking forward to it with nervous anticipation, and I have to admit that it was kind of hard. The building that I meet in now is an older one; up high in the center of the wall at the front of the chapel is a stained glass window of the Savior in Gethsemane. I'm glad that I finally looked up there during the meeting because it reminded me that Christ did something that He would have rather not had to do - but He did it out of love - so I think I can certainly be obedient in this very small matter.

During the last hour, when the women meet with each other, I was able to introduce myself, and everyone seemed nice. The Relief Society president directed me to the paper I needed to fill out to have my membership records sent to my new congregation (I already asked the gentleman in my former congregation to send them a couple of weeks ago, but I don't think it's been done yet), and I was reminded that I can count on the women to help me out. This is something that I feel like I have been made more and more aware of in recent months. I love men and all they can do, but for some reason, I feel like women help get things done. Don't bristle on me, all you men out there, but this lesson keeps getting hit home to me - I still love you, and I have to admit that the last man in my life helped organize me better, so I know I'm generalizing, but there.

Tender Mercies

I was going to write about some hard things going on right now, but I just got a phone call that made me change my mind. Our Heavenly Father loves and cares about us so much, and I am very grateful for that. And I think it is a huge blessing that He often let's us help Him.

6 Months

That's what today marks. I don't get more than misty anymore. And the mist isn't very often, either. However, I still notice his name - in a book or other random places - and I don't recall coming across that name before. Then there are the actual references to him; I'm still jealous of who he might be with or what he's doing. I've only contacted him a couple of times since a communication from him several months ago requesting no more communication - and he's contacted me several times since then (explain that one to me, will you?). I still have to prep myself when I think I might see him somewhere and deal with my nerves while I wait for him to walk in the door or appear in view. And then there's the occasional accidental meeting when he suddenly walks into a place I don't think he's been to in a long time, or we both happen to be in Google docs at the same time, entering info for a friend's wedding. And even though I dreamt about someone else last night (someone I think I want to work on getting to ask me out), and it was a nice, cozy dream, he still shows up sometimes. I'm still listening to several of the songs I've posted.

One of my roommates got engaged last weekend; it's such a different feeling to watch from the outside and to wonder how it happens. It's weird thinking of my former special friend and remembering what we had while observing what we didn't. And I still feel mad at him when I think that what I gave might have meant more to me than it did to him. It's humiliating, and I get mad at myself for being foolish. Live and learn, though, right? And try to be smarter - and more cautious - next time.

Birthdays

If anyone doubted the title of my blog, I think it should be an acceptable title now. Don't think that "spinster" means dowdy or anything like that, though - I intend to continue to enjoy my 30s. I got to attend a reunion for the performing choir I was in the last couple of years of high school (I played the keyboard for the Choralair band.). It was fun to see some friends/acquaintances that I haven't seen for awhile - some of them it's been quite awhile. Maybe I'll put a picture or two on here. Because I went to that, I also spent the weekend with my parents and my youngest sister and her husband. My youngest brother and his wife went home with me, which was nice, too, because it is my birthday today. My baby sister made my birthday cake, and it was delicious. My brother and sister-in-law gave me a book that I'm excited to read. My mom and dad gave me several piano books, which is exciting. It is great to have new music to play! I have to admit that I was sad that nobody told me happy birthday on Facebook - normally, it seems like one is inundated with birthday wishes on one's birthday. However, I realized tonight that my birthday wasn't public info - I think it used to be, so I'm not sure when I changed that. So, I guess it's my fault, and I need not feel neglected. :)