Monday, May 26, 2008

Sunday Night Musings

I just finished watching The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I'm planning on seeing Prince Caspian tomorrow (I know I've already seen it once, but I didn't pay for it the first time, so I figure it's okay for me to see it again), and I thought it would be nice to see the first movie first. It's been a long time since I've seen it, and watching it again, I was struck by the gospel messages in it. I was already feeling like quite the sinner, after saying some things to some friends tonight that I should not have said. The movie only rubbed in my failings more - in a good way, I hope.

C. S. Lewis had such an amazing understanding of Heavenly Father's plan for us. His story does such a good job of teaching the Savior and His atonement. I'm struck when I see Edmund talking to Aslan; then Aslan tells the others that what is done is done and they don't need to discuss it more. I get emotional when Aslan stands in Edmund's place as a blood sacrifice. At the end of the movie, I wondered why the children are made kings and queens when it is Aslan who is the ultimate hero and saviour. Then I remembered that it is the same for each of us. The Savior has done everything for us, including standing in for us and paying for our mistakes/sins. He is greater than all of us, yet He wants us to be kings and queens. He wants us to have all that He has.


And I am so imperfect. And even when I feel bad about things, like saying things I shouldn't, I realize that perhaps I feel bad, mostly, because I don't want others to know how imperfect I am, when I should really feel bad because I only want to serve God and I love my brothers and sisters and want to help them. I know that becoming like Christ is a longer than this life task, yet I get so impatient with myself because I know I can be better than I am. I guess it's just one step at a time. And while I wait to become who I need to be, I am so grateful for the Saviour, who loves me (and you, too) enough to pay for my failings, deliver me from the adversary, and help me move forward.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Best Day Ever

This weekend was pretty nice. I went up to Mesa on Friday evening and watched Prince Caspian with a friend - I highly recommend the movie. Saturday, I went to the temple. I had lunch with my friend. I visited my brother and sister-in-law. Then I came back to town and joined my roommate, her parents, and various friends for Hootenanny. It was great. Today I attended church at the building my congregation will be using for the summer - it's the oldest building my church built here, and it's pretty cool. Anyway, it was a good weekend.
To me, though, the most exciting part of the weekend was having about 24 hours of feeling . . . NORMAL!! I think that Saturday was the first full day I have had in the past nine months where I felt like a normal person the whole day. Wow! It was amazing! What a blessing. No anxious feelings or thoughts - just normal. I realize that I've used that word several times now, but one doesn't know how good normal is until one experiences the alternative for an extended period of time. Hopefully there are more repeats of that day to come. For now, though, I will just be grateful for a nice, normal day.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

Today, I just want to wish my mom a very happy Mother's Day!! The flowers at the left were given to us after church today as a reminder to call our mom's and let them know how much we love and appreciate them. Incidentally, carnations are my mom's favorite flowers, so I thought I'd take a picture of them for her. Mine is the one on the right, Melinda's is the one on the left.
My mom is the best. She's been there my whole life. One of the things that I most appreciate about her is that she stayed home all of my growing up years. That means more to me than I can say. In a world where that is looked at as less worthy or ambitious than leaving the home and seeking success through career, it is kind of rare to have a mom in the home, I think. Not only that, but in some families the mom has no choice but to work. I'm glad that my mom had the choice and that she made the right one. Because of her decision I am able to know, first-hand, the benefits of having a mom there. Each day, when I got home from school, she was there to listen to me recount (in more detail than I'm sure she cared to know) my day to her.
Anyway, Mom, I just want to tell you thank you for being there for me, and I love you!!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Socially Inept

This weekend was my weekend of parties. It reminded me that I need to be more social. Friday night I went to the birthday party of a girl in my ward. I didn't get there until kind of late because I first went out to dinner with a couple of friends, which was also nice. Anyway, there were a lot of people at the party, and I got there just in time to play Apples to Apples, which I lost, as usual, but I had fun playing, nonetheless.

A new friend of mine was at the party. He and I chatted a little and he sat next to me during the game. Part way through the game he asked me if I was okay. I told him I was just tired, which was partially true. I wanted to laugh as I realized that the reason he probably thought something was wrong was because I was a different Jamie than the one he had seen before. When I first met him there were only two other people present. I was really excited to meet him and probably much more outgoing. I always try to be enthusiastic when I see him because he's really nice and happy. However, when I'm with a lot of people, I tend to close up and become much more quiet.

Last night I went to a pizza party at this really cool guy's house. He had all the ingredients there, as well as recipes for several different kinds of pizzas. We all worked together to make them and then spent the night stuffing our faces. The guy who was in charge encouraged us to have really good converstaions with at least a couple of new people, so that he would feel like we weren't totally ignoring Elder Oak's dating advice.

My roommate and I stayed a long time - until charades. Once it was announced as the next activity, we decided we should leave. Before doing so, I poked my head out to the back yard to see if there was anyone I wanted to say good bye to. There was, so I went out and tried to say good bye. The guy that was out there asked why we were leaving. I explained that we didn't want to play charades, and he said, "Well, you don't have to play, you know. You could just sit out here with Friend and me and tell stories." Then we got to talking about how my roommate and I aren't very social. He asked why, and I told him that I think we feel a bit socially inept. He asked if I like it that way, and I replied No. Of course not. That's why I came tonight. That's why I went to the party last night.

Tonight I went to a birthday party for another friend. There were a ton of people there, and, although I was not very outgoing, I think I might have done the tiniest bit better. I tried to make a point to say hello to some specific people. Maybe if I find a party to go to every night, I'll be less socially inept by the end of the summer?