Strength

I talked to a girlfriend today who I haven't talked to for awhile. She was good and let me cry and talk. She has a level of understanding about this. Anyway, she told me to listen to this. I'm not as strong as the song - this week has been a lot of hurting. I don't know how long it will take me to get there, but I will sometime - hopefully sooner rather than later.

This weekend my brother and sister-in-law let me come over for dinner and a movie. I went there gladly, leaving my roommate and a bunch of girls at my place. They were making cheese. They get together every so often to learn cool things from each other. I've not been one to just hang with the girls (outside of roommates) for a long time. I've preferred hanging with the guys. However, being in a committed relationship, I didn't keep up friendships with the guys, of course. These girls are kind and welcoming, and I wonder if I should have stayed home the other evening. Maybe I should try to learn to love girl time.

I feel like it's been good to be learning how to be alone. I've always needed the company of others. Now I find a lot of comfort in being with myself. However, I feel like I've probably done that long enough, and it's probably time to come back to people. It's just hard to want to do that. Just fulfilling obligations that put me in public feels like enough people time to me. But it probably doesn't help me to move on to just be with me. I am grateful to not mind silence so much now, though.