Sunday, August 1, 2010

Love Triangles, Revisited

Once upon a time, I posted about a love triangle that I was a part of. I'm afraid I might be a part of one again. Actually, maybe it's bigger than a triangle. It's more like that one song - "He loves her, but she loves him (a different guy), and he loves somebody else." I recently saw this guy that I've been interested in for the last couple of years - stupid Jamie!, I know, but he's so much what I want that it's hard to get over him, I guess. Anyways, seeing him was great, but painful at the same time; I knew it would be. Meanwhile, I'm nervous that this other guy I know is interested in me, which doesn't happen to me very much, so I get pretty distraught over how to handle it. If I'm right, I'm upset because I don't return that interest, and I dread it coming to me having to get that message to him somehow. I was thinking, maybe I should just ask Dream Boy - "How do you deal with me when you have to know how I feel, and you totally don't feel the same?" Because knowing how upset I am over hurting this other friend makes me wonder if Dream Boy gets annoyed with me. I know he cares about me, and I don't see how he could be oblivious to how I feel about him, so is it just totally obnoxious to him that I can't just accept what he has to offer me? Does he wonder why I must insist on ruining a perfectly good friendship? I try to separate my heart self from my friend self for him because I value his friendship and don't want to lose it, but I probably don't always do a good job of keeping how I feel in my heart away from my real, just-friends relationship with him. Oh, the joys of being single and trying not to be.

1 comment:

Christensen Family said...

I'm so sorry! It is definitely ridiculously frustrating. We really enjoyed you coming to visit. Makayla says she misses you! We love you!