Holes

Do you ever feel like you've figured something out, or like you're managing life well, and then you have to face a very rude awakening - hello, silly person, you haven't figured it out, it's not over yet, you still have to deal with it. Ugghh! How depressing!

That's what I'm being reminded of right now, and it really stinks. It stinks to be in a hole you can't ever quite crawl out of. I feel like I have slowly been climbing up the inside of a deep, dark hole for several months now. I was getting close to the top. I couldn't quite climb out, but I was close enough to the top to feel the warmth of the sun; maybe I even had my head above-ground and could see and smell and almost touch the beautiful world and life outside the hole. And you know what, I thought I could deal with life from that vantage point if that's my lot. Well, all those months of hard work, and I've been pushed back down. I don't think I'm quite as deep down as I was before, but I'm definitely down a ways.

Forgive me for being negative and depressing, but sympathize with me for a moment. I know I need to be patient and wait - maybe something wonderful is just around the corner - maybe I will be rescued and get to leave the hole for good someday. And even if I have to stay in the hole for the rest of my life, I can appreciate the glimpses of life outside of it. I just have to talk myself into climbing to the top, no matter how many times I fall or get pushed back down it. And, if I never make it out in this life, but I do my best to climb out until the end of my life, how much more wonderful and beautiful will the next life be when there are no more holes for me to fall down or pushed into.