Sunday, June 13, 2010

Cliques and Hypocrisy

Someone I know has semi-recently become friends with a group of people comprised of acquaintances of mine. They used to just be acquaintances to both of us, but she seems to be merging into their circle. Since this friend and I do most of our socializing together, when she is invited to do something with them, I am pretty aware of it because I am not invited. Don't get me wrong - it's not like I feel like they are on purpose not inviting me. I just have not made that effort to become buddies with them. And, even though I feel a little sad when I'm not invited along to something, the less prideful side of me doesn't really mind it - maybe because it's a bit exclusive.

I would label these people as well-educated, intellectual type people. I like to think of myself as one of those people (conceited, I know). Some people like to think and talk about "smart" things and be smart - and I don't mean it's in an in-your-face sort of way. It just has to do with things that people are interested in. I went through a period in college where I dabbled in not being smart. I had fun not talking about smart things - not thinking politically or sociologically, etc. My grades from that year and a half would prove my change in interests. When I went back to school after my mission, though, and decided to try to get good enough grades to be able to get into a masters program, I realized that I really did like learning - I'm a nerd! Then I graduated, moved, and ended up living with someone who helped spark that interest in thinking about things.

Back to this group of folks, though. As much as some people want to not think they're part of a clique, we all have the desire to be accepted by others, and we tend to gravitate to those who have similar interests. Thus, my friend has been moving into this circle that is probably full of really cool - to her - people because they're of a more intellectual, academic bend, and she values that. And although I also value intelligence, I think I stay kind of aloof from it because I don't want to totally throw myself into that. There's some kind of warmth lacking from some of these people - although they're friendly to talk to and not purposefully snotty or anything.

On to the second part of the post's title. In writing this, I am a total hypocrite. I also am thinking about that. In fact, last night I told my roommate that I was having an Emma evening. In case you haven't read or seen it (or seen Clueless), it's about a rich, upper-class woman who decides to take a lower-class woman under her wing. The lower-class girl is like her little good-will project. I won't continue on with the details, but although I'm not rich, I think I feel like the better-educated, more socially acceptable Emma trying to "help" another. Isn't that awful?! Sorry to expose you to some of my ugly hypocrisy, but it's true. I feel like every Christian should know better than to put one's self above - or below - another because we are all God's children and therefore brothers and sisters, and yet we do it. I guess it's one of those natural tendencies that we have to fight. I don't know how to tie my thoughts together tonight, but to me, they're connected.

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