Sunday, January 8, 2012


Awhile back I bought a groupon for private dance lessons - have I already mentioned that? I have this thing with dance after dating the boy. He was so into it, and I felt so inadequate about it, that I came to not like it so much - at least ballroom. So I bought this groupon because it was cheap, and I kind of have this need to prove myself now. And I wanted to know if I could learn to like it again. I made a goal to set up lessons at the new year, and I did. I had my first lesson on Thursday. I was so nervous by the time I got to the ballroom that I was afraid I might spend much of my lesson in the bathroom, vomiting (sorry if that's too much info), and I felt like I might have an emotional breakdown if the instructor asked me what I was hoping to get out the lessons.

However, I made it into the ballroom. I filled out paperwork. I met my instructor (who, incidentally, reminded me of the guy friend who I admire most). I didn't vomit. I didn't cry. We danced. In our half hour lesson (which actually went over, wasn't that nice of him?) we went over the basics on foxtrot, waltz, rumba, cha-cha, east coast swing, and salsa, if I recall correctly. And I liked it. I loved the direct instruction. I feel like this is what I've been waiting for. I already know the basic steps, but I feel like I never get better. The group setting I've experienced hasn't felt helpful. This time I had someone who knows what he's doing and was there for me and able to give me feedback, pointers, and instruction in a way that I could mostly understand.

I think he told me he's easy the first lesson, but things change after that, so I will have to see how I feel about things after the next lesson. If I continue to like it, though, those four lessons are going to end way too soon because I don't think I can afford more. Maybe I will have to get a second job. You see, I feel like other people have at least one or two things that they're really into. I don't feel like I have that. I try to justify it by saying, "I like people, not things," but I think it would be nice to enjoy something enough to be willing to put in the time to become proficient at it. And I don't know if I can be a proficient dancer, but I kind of want to find out.

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